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Saturday, December 20, 2014

This is how I grieve.

One of my favorite people died today. Grams has been suffering in a hospital a $500 plane trip away for the past week or so. She isn't suffering anymore.

On December 18th, two nights ago, when I found out she was going into hospice, I had a waking dream. My Gramps, Grams' first husband in this lifetime visited me. In this dream, Gramps was hugging Grams. They were both happy and surrounded by a warm light.

Gramps died on December 18, 1998. He visits me when I am most upset. When I wake up from a dream in which Gramps visits me, I always feel better.

It does make me sad (for him) to think that Grams left her new husband (my Grandpa Rich) here on earth, but he has his first wife waiting in heaven for him too. Someday, the four of them will play cards together, like they did so many years ago. 

I don't mean to make Grams' death about me, but death is for the living to relish. Grams was one of my favorite people. She was one person who always wanted me to be nothing more than me. I know one day I'll see her and Gramps again.

Death isn't sad for the person who is dead. You can't be sad when you are dead. You can't feel pain either, which is a blessing. Death is only sad for the people who will miss you.

Death is sad for me today.


  1. It's okay to grieve, those voids left behind can never be filled. So hold tight your memories and not regret the thoughts are with you Morgy.

  2. Having lost all of my elder relatives, I have come to recognize that grief is a process, not an action. We move through various stages of loss until we reach a level that we can live with. Sure knowledge, fueled by faith, of a future reunion in the afterlife can be a great comfort. I'm sorry for your loss, Jodie.