Tuesday, June 7, 2016

The Politics of Flowers


Yellow Flag Irises crowd the bank of the Niobrara River at Agate Fossil Beds. It's the same river I canoed in a blizzard when I was nine-years-old, during which my uncle gave my brother and me shots of peppermint schnapps because he said it would keep us warm and a family friend handed us baked potatoes to take into our sleeping bags, for the same reason. But this part of the river looks different. I doubt many people dip a canoe in at this point in the river. But for as narrow as this river is, it is still the river who helped the wind sculpt the rocks, revealed the bones of ancient history, and gave us a history lesson we didn't know we needed.

But did we need it?  Maybe the rock bones are bad medicine.

Erwin Barbour came to Agate Springs Ranch to discover ancient plant roots that were not ancient plant roots. They were the burrows of the paleocaster--a land beaver that is nothing like the modern water beaver. These daemonelices or Devil's Corkscrews were where they lived. But Barbour was convinced they were the roots of massive prehistoric plants and sometimes when you are convinced of something, you forget to keep looking for further possibility.

During one visit, Barbour brought with him some Iris pseudacorus bulbs, as a wedding gift for his daughter, Eleanor newly married to son-in-law, Harold Cook. When gifted flowers, it is normal for the giftees to plant said flowers near a water source--like a river. And, that's what the Cooks did. What a lovely way to add a pop of yellow to the muted hues of the expanse that is Western Nebraska, they must've thought. People are animals after all and animals impact their environment.

Over time, the flowers grew in power, developing a massive rhizome, whilst self-seeding into the water. The flowers produce a seed pod that explodes --scattering fertile confetti into the gentle waters heading downstream. They invade the banks forming a legion, inserting themselves into the fecund soil.

The soil just takes it; it doesn't have a choice. The invader is too strong--too large in number.

The Park Service is doing what they can to stop them. The removal of this mighty flower has come up before, but tourists sometimes come just to see them, and tourists bring money.

These are the politics of the flowers.

The Park Service could just let these soldiers grow invasively, but the irises are poisoning the water. They are drowning the river. Fish, oh-so-observant, have been avoiding this stretch of river for a long time. This is a sign. This is one language the fish speak that we should be able to read: avoidance.

The Park Service has tried spraying the irises with herbicide. Get that? They have tried spraying the poison with poison. The poison is still standing.

These dazzling flowers are as strong as they are lovely.

The Park Service has discovered stomping on the flowers seems to be the most effective course of action because it mimics what cattle would do to it, if cattle were allowed on the land. Cattle would have a negative impact on the land, but the flowers would also have a negative impact on the cattle because the flowers are toxic to cattle as well. They have even invited local high school students out for a flower stomping party.

But these beauties are as strong as they are lovely.

As we walked across the boardwalk today, two of my classmates saw a fish swimming under the bridge in the gentle flowing water of the Niobrara, right there among the irises. Our teacher was surprised, and in turn, we were surprised by his surprise because we didn't know the story of the irises just yet. He explained his response by telling us the origin of the Yellow Flag Iris that grows so fearlessly along the banks of the river. This lonely fish tells a story: The tamping of the flowers is working.

I hope the fish wins.

I hope the river wins.

The Natives deserve a win against this invasion.




Friday, June 5, 2015

On Bravery



There are different kinds of bravery.

If you say an act takes bravery it does not diminish other acts of bravery. It does not lessen the courage that another act takes. It doesn't make anyone else less of a hero.

Who owns the word courage? No one. No one person owns any word or color or cause.

For some courage means fighting for other people's freedom and comfort. For some, it is heroic just to get out of bed. For others, it is admitting publicly who you truly are.

You might not recognize someone's act as being brave, but that doesn't mean that it's not.

Know that one type of bravery does not weaken the others.

My bravery is not better than your bravery; it is just different. It's still bravery!

Usually once you understand something, it becomes less of a threat. Sometimes it's a small tweak in perspective that can change the way you see the whole world. Often, once you understand people who are different than you, you can love them. On occasion, it's seeking understanding that takes bravery.

Saturday, December 20, 2014

This is how I grieve.

One of my favorite people died today. Grams has been suffering in a hospital a $500 plane trip away for the past week or so. She isn't suffering anymore.

On December 18th, two nights ago, when I found out she was going into hospice, I had a waking dream. My Gramps, Grams' first husband in this lifetime visited me. In this dream, Gramps was hugging Grams. They were both happy and surrounded by a warm light.

Gramps died on December 18, 1998. He visits me when I am most upset. When I wake up from a dream in which Gramps visits me, I always feel better.

It does make me sad (for him) to think that Grams left her new husband (my Grandpa Rich) here on earth, but he has his first wife waiting in heaven for him too. Someday, the four of them will play cards together, like they did so many years ago. 

I don't mean to make Grams' death about me, but death is for the living to relish. Grams was one of my favorite people. She was one person who always wanted me to be nothing more than me. I know one day I'll see her and Gramps again.

Death isn't sad for the person who is dead. You can't be sad when you are dead. You can't feel pain either, which is a blessing. Death is only sad for the people who will miss you.

Death is sad for me today.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

The Magic Face Threading Lady


Today I sat in an open kiosk in a crowded mall while a woman ripped almost all of the hairs out of my face. At one point I'm pretty sure I felt nostril hairs leaving my nose--or SOMETHING caused an immense ripping pain from my nostril region. I'm not sure how she did it, unless I severely underestimated the length of my nose hairs. If that is the case, I would appreciate it from now on, if you would TELL ME THAT I HAVE NOSTRIL HAIRS HANGING OUT OF MY NOSE. Actually though, I just think that the lady is magic.

I have several reasons for believing in her magic. Number one, she has the ability to coax nostril hairs out of my nose ... with thread ... and I didn't even ask her to.

Number two she is everywhere. There are three threading places in the Omaha-metro area that I know of and no matter when I go to any of them, she is there. How is she everywhere? There is only one explanation ... magic.

Three ... I always go to the kiosk with the intention of JUST getting my eyebrows threaded. However, she always talks me into doing my whole face. And it's not like some high pressure sales situation. She just says, "Should I do your lip?" and then she gives me this look that says, "You, my dear, have a mustache" and I say, without even thinking, "Will you just do my whole face?" She nods, almost imperceptibly as if she knew that this is what I was going to say all along. This is the conversation we have. Every time. Magic, I tell you.

Today when she got ready to thread my side burn region, she said, "It's been a while." Yeah, magic threading lady, it has been. You're going to earn your $35 plus tip today. I'm of German descent. Now, RIP ME.

It hurts. But it's a good hurt. It's similar to (but on a much smaller scale) getting a tattoo. After a while, your adrenaline kicks in and you start to think about how smooth and delicious your skin will look, you say a few swear words (in your head ... you are after all in a public place) and you power through.

Threading. It's not for the weak, but it is for the hairy. 





Saturday, November 8, 2014

Reflection: Loyalty

Being loyal is good thing, unless you are loyal to a fault (or more specifically, to the detriment of your own well-being). That's just plain stupid.

I have been being plain stupid. 

When I believe in something, I stick with it. I adjust my own life to promote it, even if it isn't easy or convenient. I throw myself into it, sometimes even sacrificing other things that are equally or even more important.

As disturbing and unsettling as it is when you initially discover that the person or the thing or the entity which you have been so loyal does not return the sentiment, there is freedom in this realization as well.

It's jolting, but it wises you up. It causes you to re-evaluate your loyalties.

I was passed over for a promotion recently by a system to which and by people to whom I've been loyal for a long time. I was hurt at first because ... I have an ego, but upon reflecting, I realize that those doing the hiring did me a favor. They opened my eyes. I opened my eyes.

This wasn't about me. This wasn't about loyalty. This was about putting someone who was right for the position in the position. (The person who was hired is going to do a marvelous job and she IS right for the position.) The more I think about the position to which I applied (and was encouraged to do so by one of the people doing the hiring) the more I realize that I was fiercely loyal enough that I would've stretched myself, acrobatically to fit the mold of what the position would've required of me and that I would've been miserable in doing so, and would've made everyone else around me miserable too.

It also forced me to reflect upon to what or to whom I owe my loyalties and the bottom line is--> I owe my loyalties to my students. No one else. A big part of my philosophy of teaching is that if it's not good for students, don't do it or do it enough to satisfy the powers that be and move on with things that ARE good for students.

It doesn't matter where I teach; it is the students who matter. I am loyal to the profession. It is an honor to teach the young. Put me anywhere and I will be loyal to the people sitting in my classroom whether the system that employs me is loyal to me or not.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

On Being Productive

Do you ever not start a project or job because you know there is a high probability that you will be interrupted throughout the process of it? How can one combat that problem? It's silly to not doing something because of something that might or might not happen ... but sometimes that is what stops me from being productive.

Sometimes my lack of initiative makes me feel like a frumpy pink plastic electric poodle.

When I am involved in a project, if I am interrupted, it not only stops me from proceeding, but it causes me to backtrack and recover and a project that might normally take a mere hour winds up taking me five. Stopping and starting makes me feel like punching a wall, so I'd rather just not doing something until I know I can be somewhere where no one will insert themselves into my workspace.

I need to solve this problem, but it's something that has plagued me since I was around 12 years old. Knowing that I can't doing something in one fell swoop stifles me from proceeding. Knowing that I can't do something perfectly, often makes me give up before I've even started.

This is how I wind up binge-watching Netflix and posting too much information on social media outlets. I need the human equivalent of horse blinders. I need to train my 38-year-old brain to focus.



Monday, September 1, 2014

On Happiness



I just found this little snippet in the book A Beautiful Mind by Sylvia Nasar. This excerpt from an essay (printed in an unknown newspaper, according to Nasar's footnotes) by educator, Angelo Patri was discovered in a scrapbook Virginia Nash (mother to mathematical genius, John Nash) kept for her children.
Queer little twists and quirks go into the making of an individual. To suppress them all and follow clock and calendar and creed until the individual is lost in the neutral gray of the host is to be less than true to our inheritance ... Life, that gorgeous quality of life, is not accomplished by following another man's rules. It is true we have the same hungers and same thirsts, but they are for different things and in different ways and in different seasons ... Lay down your own day, follow it to its noon, your own noon, or you will sit in an outer hall listening to the chimes but never reaching high enough to strike your own.
One of the most tragic things I can think of is that some people live their entire lives and never experience who they truly are. They are busy keeping up appearances, worrying what others will think of them, and attempting to achieve goals that others have set for them. Really the only way to guarantee that you leave a first-hand mark on this world is to march to the beat of your own drum (to borrow a cliche) or better yet, to stop marching altogether and do your own thang. I believe that a person can only experience pure happiness, when she truly experiences what it feels like to be her and no one else.